10 things i hate about you..

I hate the way you talk to me, 

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car, 

I hate it when you stare. 

I hate your big dumb combat boots 

and the way you read my mind. 

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme. 

I hate the way youre always right, 

I hate it when you lie. 

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry. 

I hate it when youre not around, 

and the fact that you didnt call. 

But mostly I hate the way I dont hate you, 

not even close

not even a little bit 

not even at all.

//sourced from the movie ... cuz i can't write poems anymore

Rules of Editor-dom

1. slash.slash.slash.
2. then slash some more
3. follow the 3L scan formula (courtesy - fa) - scan and look thru every third line in a paragraph. looks slashable right? do it then.
   
4. deadlines? - to quote twain - dont u just love the whooshing noise they make as they go by? :)
5. your boss will be an over-bearing ass and your sub-ordinates will be incompetent imbeciles.yeah... life just sucks that way. for Everyone.
   
6. coffee breaks rule!
7. job reqs: losing sleep,foregoing any pretense of a social life, being hated for being annoyingly meticulous and generally hated anyway. the lucky ones get elaborately worded hate mails, the others - much more elaborately worded death threats.
   
8. payoffs : none.zero.zilch.zip.nada.
   

..

.. there comes a time when we realise .. what we think of people is really just that .. what we think ..

and not what they are ... not by a long shot...

and the question of what to do remains in the room.. heavy and ominous .. like the stormclouds i see..
.
.
.
thunder rolls and lightning flashes with a wrath and vengeance that's brilliant to behold ...
.
.

maybe thats my answer

The Dummies Guide to...

.. Dealing with sexual assault..

1. Yes. It happened, And I’ve said it. That’s step One.
2. There’s NO fing point in thinking about what else you could’ve done to retaliate/fight back/kick him harder in the balls. Didn’t happen then. No point fretting now.Although.. plotting to do it now is totally OK.
3. Plotting to do this with a huge group of big burly men is also cool. Very cool.
4. If you’re not the violent sort, try projectile spitting... on his photo.. Pretty plebeian I know, but feels extremely cathartic.
5. Burn his effigy ... sing and dance and swear crazily around it..
6. Now for the therapy part.. Go wild here.. Do whatever makes you feel happy..go shoe-shopping ..n jus plain shopping .. have a girls night-out ... n sappy-movie-marathon with a choclate ice-cream bucket .. play those good old shoot-the-bad-guy video games ..
7. CRY. just once. let it all out. then get up.. put on your prettiest dress ..smile into the mirror and go out..
8. TALK to your friends. Get as much help as you want. You deserve the whole hugs, teddy-bear-clutching crying sessions , hot chocolate & being tucked in with ‘sshh sshh nothing’ll happen.. we’re all here’ routine
9. Get your violent friends to beat him up ..AFTER they’ve tucked you in bed..
10. Work out an extremely complex and beautifully detailed revenge & justice plan. Be sure to include very graphic details of retribution. When you’re done … Go muahahahahaha...
11. Pray. Very hard. God will take care of you... and Murphy will take care of the rest.

heaven.. thy name is chocolate...

more of my ... umm... 'artwork' ..... pretty aint it? :)

First Heat

and this ...... for simmy

The John Galt Line

Here's to my favorite heroines - Dagny n Shree

appee burday sweetie ..... :)

The rant of all rants ...

15th september, 07

since i'm supposed to be holed up in my room studying...i've spent the past few days revisiting every one of my semi-hobbies .. and have atlast whittled down to... Writing

so i'm gonna write ... about you ask? ..well .. just stuff ...

nothing significant... come to think of it .. nothing i write is specifically significant... significant to me who is the central and dramatic protagonist in the great tragedy/comedy of my own life .. but noone else ...so to speak..

so why do we write? out of an innate need to vent? show off? please ones ego? ..all three?

a written word is not a conversation or an argument .. where one can oppose us .. or prove us wrong.. in that i suppose writing is sort of an indulgence .. of the big fat triple-tiered frosting-covered chocolate cake kind...

alright .. so we write self appeasing diary entries.. why write stories at all? .. go to all the pain of making up situations ..characters.. plots.. subplots ..and all that fuss ..for what?

so that we can say things that we cant say.. or atleast dont want to say ..

------its not a personal opinion you see.. its just what the character dictated i write --------

thats escapism ... writer's weakness..

and for me ..its a slightly different deal ... i write to give voice to few of the voices in my head ..
yep .. i said voices .. voices belonging to people .. with distinct personalities .. no distinct names though .. havent taken that final step towards insanity ..

right.. so these voices .. they each think that they deserve to run my life.. their life.. our life.. bleargh .. alright .. this life .. according their whims and fancies ... and quite predictably .. disagree on how thats done quite often...

from the men i like .. to the clothes i wear ( Not in order of importance) ..and if at all i make a decision about anything.. its cuz i was lucky enough to have a majority vote ...of course majority vote means only the decisions.. the day-to-day affairs are still torn and rent with confusion and arguments that stretch from here to atlanta ………...its i-like-him today .. and ohmygodwatwasithinking tommorrow... and awwhe'snotsobad the next day ..and why'reyouinapityrelationshipyoumoron the next... and so on for a few weeks.. until I ( I being the sane stolid ...alright alright .. the somewhat reflective and trying to be responsible central self) decide to have some backbone and put an end to this farce..

-- move to flashback scene in the distant past when i still dated--

Me1 : thatsiti'mbreakingup...thereheisi'mgonnatellhim

Me2 : oh oh oh wait ... he's got something shiny in his hand...

Me3 : [insert male name] (cuz i dont wanna get sued/beaten up by goondas sent by above-implied ex-boyfriend), tell me that's not a swarovski pendant ..

BOY : *deep male voice laughs* It is my dear [sugary sweet endearment] ! :D (Me1: urghh i cant stand those and he uses em ALL the time)...

Me3: but .. but..

Me1 : oh shuttup you idiot .. take the damn box and kiss his silly mouth shut before he starts honeybun-ing sweetheart-ing all over again

Me3 : but ... i dont even Like him!!

Me1 : That dint stop you from kissing him before!

Me3 : I meant the pendant! Not the kissing!

Me2 : oh .. ok .. right

Me1 : eitherways… So?

Me2 : Actually.. yea..... your point being?

Me3 : its not fair!

Me1 : Since when are you Fair?!! Anyways ..what he doesnt know cant hurt him.. 'honey' ...

Me3 : oh shutup

Me2 : listen.. you're still the girlfriend right? .. you dint cheat on him or anything did you ..? .. how does it matter if deep down you dont like him a little(ermm.. hehERMM) bit?.. and You! .. shut UP for a while alright?

Me1 : okay.. okayy ... relax you madwoman...

Me3 : uhm...well in that case...

BOY : uh sesh , [insert endearment] (eww!) (oi ..be nice!),... are you alright honey, my [grosser endearment] (EWW!) (EWW! i agree! who Says that anymore?!!..eww..eww)... ?..you look distracted..

Me3 : oh.. its nothing .. i'm ..fine.. jus a lil headache thats all.. that pendant is Adorable ..you really shouldnt have ... i cant accept..

Me1 : damnitwoman...Thats not your line!!

Me3 : i kno i'm sorry .. kinda slipped out ..

BOY: what rubbish sesh! .. its yours. period...Now.. where were we ....

*ehmm.. snogging ensues*

--- end of flashback---

so this is the big secret ... the secret of why i cant have a relationship with anyone ... there's always someone (in me) who hates him..or detests him ..or is repulsed by the way he eats his eggs ... or..you get the picture..

so if any of my men happen to read this ... this is the point where they go ... Oh..Thats why she acts so crazy all the time!..if they havent already figured out that is .. and being men... well...

confessions of a teenage Drama queen

APRIL 2007

Masks

Is it the The final solution? ... really? ..

i've been feeding parts of myself to this enormous beast...now an arm .. now a leg.. but its not enough ...never enough.. it wants more .. always more
now all i have left are parts of my soul.. my honor.. and questions ... a hundred unanswered questions .. which multiply by the day......

so, was it worth it? .. he asked me.. and i blinked ...
..i'm still blinking..

like fungus on a tree, i've grown onto.. and into this creature ... put down roots that are not so much roots as ropes.. that bind me to servitude.. voluntary eager innocent servitude.. like a virgin slave's passion..
and sometimes i like to think that the tree is bound to me as well.. it needs me ..for its existence .. but that sounds absurd and ridiculous even as i say it.. i know that if i'm cut off and cast away like the unwelcome parasite i'm made out to be, there will be another pawn ready to take my place ..
and noone will ever notice i'm gone.