The Ballad

Once upon a time , there was a kingdom called La-La Land( read Thuvakudi).

In the centre of the kingdom was a magnificent castle with brilliantly crumbling turrets and insect-infested buildings. The fair and noble race of the Engg-a-men lived here.

In the royal court there was a fair maiden called Camizvori – the short and spicy.

Men from all over thuvakudi vied for her attention but to no avail, the maiden was already betrothed to her childhood companion, Sir Row-miss – the tall and far. He lived in the land Far-Far-Away much to the chagrin of both the estranged lovers, but Sir Row-miss had promised that to Love, distance was no matter. And so his love waited and waited……… until things happened to put it to test.

This story is curiously linked with a particular tradition of this land - the Sigh-kills.
These are the periodic mock battles held by order of the king to provide a chance for the bravehearts of the kingdom to prove their mettle in Things Of No Consequence. Now such a period of great stress and tension has to have some obvious side-effects namely , the Sigh-kill syndrome , a condition of extreme boredom and nervousness and recklessness which makes you do things you wouldn’t dream of doing even in those weirder dreams.

This particular spring, the maiden was more seriously afflicted than normal,
maybe it was the sigh-kill syndrome ,
maybe she was bitten by the hormone-bug,
maybe Fate decided to finally test her Love
or maybe it was all three ,
.......... she fell hard and sure. And you know what they say, the shorter you are, the harder you fall or wait…… is it higher?.... anyway, no matter.

Now, Enter the hero- the able young boy who’d always been in the royal court… one of the kingdom’s most trusty soldiers … except for a streak of insanity but mostly everyone let it pass .. this young boy’s name was Hasch-ad - the tall and Near. Incidentally a childhood pal of Camizvori ..

Now this boy was one day strolling in the barren palace gardens possibly contemplating the deeper meaning and purpose of the existence of the Weird Mutant Stick Insect when he noticed the maiden taking a walk in the same park.. as they were pseudo-childhood buddies he went over to talk to her.

What should have been a normal old-friends-catching-up episode turned out to be the beginning of something new … it was as if they were seeing each other anew in the glare of harsh tropical sun. Suddenly there were coy glances, sudden smiles, awkward pauses and a lot of batting eyelids and of course the Praises – those weapons of mass destruction.

As is with most stories like this , the hero of this tale started extolling the virtues of the heroine … and in true Ladylike manner the maiden flushed with pride and love but shyly told the hero that he was indeed praising her too much…
And maybe it was the extreme heat ,
maybe it was the sigh-kill syndrome ,
maybe it was the streak of insanity ,
or maybe it was all three …
the hero starts spouting poetry … and what follows is the exchange that happened that evening …



( Purple is the heroine's part and Black is the hero's part)



You praise me too much my sweetheart!



Oh but why cannot I, lady of my heart?

Your smile enchants me so!

Sweet as apple tart.



Cuz, oh my knight in shining underwear!

My heart to you, I wish to bare…

But pity, wrenching pity

Tis not with me to share..

Tarts of the forbidden fruit though,

I’ll give to you for sure



But why?

Oh why cannot I have your heart?

Why do you spurn my love

As though it were a stinking fart?



The seven seas for your love I would sail…

Before my PJs all obstacles quail!



Titans I wrestle, goliaths I slay,

Those who stand between us, they surely will pay..

No mountain is too high, no ocean too deep

Take my hand damsel, lest for a lifetime I weep!


My love is like none

Twixt heaven and hell

If only you knew its strength

You would surely fall under my spell


Mere words not enough!

No tongue suffice!

My heart desires for thee,

In magnitude I cannot describe


The hours are growing late

Though not as late as your plea

I have given my hand to another

And yet I yearn for thee



Take my hand love,

I shall show thee light.

Resist not thy heart’s desires

They will yield sweet delight.


Thy heart is given yae!

But it does beat another way

Come into my arms sweet love

Let true love hold sway!



Lead me not into temptation,

For I already know the way

I’m caught in a web of my own doing

And I’m struggling to get away


Like all souls that are one

I feel your love for me

Oh! What a blind fool I have been!

Your brilliance for years I did not see


At the crossroads of desire and duty

Which path shall I take?

Oh! Accursed fate this is!

Kill me! Burn me at the stake!


For then this cosmic conspiracy shall cease

As will the earthly shackles that bind

But my love shall still stick like melted mozzarella cheese

Weep not my hero, amidst the stars, each other we’ll find …



...............





At this juncture the maiden fled the scene in tears ….her mind in a turmoil …..

And our hero stood there for a loooong while wondering what in the blazes was gonna happen……..



So what happened to our star-crossed lovers? And sir row-miss? …wait and watch the drama unfold……….



To be continued………….





PS: i wrote the part of the heroine and harshad wrote the part of the hero

DISCLAIMER : this is a work of FICTION ... any resemblance to characters and situations in real life is pure co-incidence